Avalanche

I just want to take a moment to say, getting ready to leave for two-years sucks.

A lot.

If you haven't heard from me, it's because I'm doggy paddling in a sea of "to-do" lists, which include but aren't limited to:

-Go through stuff
-Get rid of stuff
-Run (marathon's coming up)
-Buy stuff
-Sell stuff (in order to have money after buying stuff)
-Pack stuff
-Run
-Pet Shmoo
-Run
-See family
-See friends
-Run
-Call friends I can't see
-Practice Spanish
-Run
-Tie loose ends
-Run

Oh, and somewhere in there is go to work full-time, eat, sleep, poop, and try not to get sick.

Some days it's too much to take, so I pretend it's not happening. And then I look at a calendar and my stomach drops and I think of all the things I have to do and all the people I have to say goodbye to, and it's just too much.

Because no matter what, I'm not going to feel even close to ready. Did I pack enough underwear? Did I say goodbye to everyone? Did I tell my family and friends I love you enough?
And then there are the feelings of incompetence.
Am I qualified for this? Is my Spanish good enough? Are these kids going to mow me over? Are people going to like me?

I don't need to hear people's opinions on this. I don't need someone to tell me people will love me or I'll do great. It's just so many people ask me "are you excited?" and I can't even begin to express how I feel. Excited? Kind of. Scared shitless? Ready to puke and/or cry at any moment? Comatose from being overwhelmed with it all?

Yes, very much so.